Just One Yesterday
by KatastrophicKat
Summary: Kicked out of the local bar on Halloween, Paul attempts to stumble back home. However, he ends up at the LaPush cliffs.. Where an angel is waiting. Crazier things have happened...


Genre: Angst  
Rating: M for character death  
Alternate Universe  
Pairing: Bella/Paul

Summary: Kicked out of the local bar on Halloween, Paul attempts to stumble back home. However, he ends up at the LaPush cliffs.. Where an angel is waiting. Crazier things have happened...

Disclaimer: I do not own TWILIGHT - It belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I do not own "Just One Yesterday" - It belongs to Fall Out Boy. Once again another inspiration from their SAVE ROCK & ROLL album. Check it out. Pretty sweet.

Paul POV

Another night. Another bar. Another reminder that I'm just like my deadbeat dad. I can't handle life anymore. How long would it be before a woman tries to stick to me and I start beating her like he beat mom? To death?

"NO!" I snarled out, stumbling my way around through LaPush as I tried to make it back home.

Flashes kept going through my head of the day I came home. My mother was a bloody mess. I shook her and shook her but she never woke up. I went searching for my dad, and found him in the bathroom.. Or what was left of him. Murder, suicide- What a way..

As soon as I was able, I hit the bottle. Didn't have to work because of life insurance policies- Ever. House was paid for. Alcohol was cheap. I ate enough food to survive until I threw it up..

I was so tainted. When I died, I was surely going to Hell. No happy afterlife for me. No angels. In fact, if an angel tried to touch me, it would probably absorb my fuckery. It would get drunk.. It would be come dirty.. Lose it's grace and divinity..

_**I thought of angels**_  
_**Choking on their halos**_  
_**Get them drunk on rose water**_  
_**See how dirty I can get them**_  
_**Pulling out their fragile teeth**_  
_**And clip their tiny wings**_

Looking around through my blurry vision, I saw white. Shocking white. It was a woman in an angel costume. How much had I had to drink that she was glowing? Ah, fuck it. I wish I had more..

"HEY! Back off that cliff!" I stumbled towards her, swerving so I didn't push her off- landing in the dirt.

She turned and leaned over me. Beautiful. Bambi eyes, chestnut hair, plump pink lips.. "You make a good angel, doll face. Happy Halloween."

I started laughing. I couldn't help it. Nothing was really funny. Nothing had been said by her to trigger any specific reaction.. Just laughing due to drunken stupidity.

I saw her frown and she reached down. I instantly flung myself away. "No. Don't touch. You'll die."

She blinked, "Die?"

_**Anything you say can and will be held against you**_  
_**So only say my name**_  
_**It will be held against you**_  
_**Anything you say can and will be held against you**_  
_**So only say my name**_

I laughed, "My name is Paul. I don't want to hear a word unless you're saying my name.. Screaming my name.. Anything and everything about me."

She shook her head and reached to help me up- But I sprang to my feet and ran away.

I made it home somehow, stumbling through my door and crashing to the floor. Her name had been beautiful.. A soft kiss of breath on my soul. If I'd been better, less tainted.. Worthy.. Perhaps I could have spoken nicer to her. Perhaps I could have let her be my salvation..

Oh Salvation.

**_If Heaven's grief brings hell's rain_**  
**_Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday_**  
**_(I know I'm bad news)_**  
**_For just one yesterday_**  
**_(I saved it all for you)_**  
**_Oh, I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way_**  
**_Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday_**  
**_(I know I'm bad news)_**  
**_For just one yesterday_**  
**_(I saved it all for you)_**  
**_For just one yesterday_**

I woke up to a pounding in my head and trickles of water on my face. I cracked my eyes open, rebelling against the impulse to close them against the harsh light. There she was.. Kneeling beside me, with cool water.

I wanted to open my mouth and thank her.. Beg her for salvation.. Beg her for forgiveness.. Beg for help. That isn't what came out.

"Halloween's over, doll. Shouldn't you get out of that costume? I can help with that."

She shook her head, a soft frown on her face. I watched her through my cracked lids, weary of her intentions. She'd remained silent.. And she was careful to not make skin to skin contact.

I went to brush against her leg but it seemed as if in a flash she was at the door.

"Do not touch me. You said I will die. Until I understand, do not touch me."

I dropped my head back to the floor, and was once again consumed with darkness.

_**Letting people down is my thing, baby**_  
_**Find yourself a new gig**_  
_**This town ain't big enough for two of us**_  
_**I don't have the right name**_  
_**Or the right looks**_  
_**But I have twice the heart**_

I was back up again that evening. My headache was gone. My angel was gone. I went to the liquor store for more so I could call it a night in. I ordered a large pizza so the grease would soak up some of the poison stomach acid before I just drank more.

Life was cheap.. But the Vodka was cheaper. I sat and drank straight out of the bottle while my music blared. Hateful music. Dark.. Almost as dark as my soul. The angel was gone. Her voice pattern was burned into my memory, playing over and over. As if she were my conscience.. But she wouldn't be coming back. After my display, she wouldn't come back- They never come back..

No one comes back.

I could have been great. But nature vs. nurture- And I was more animal than man.

_**Anything you say can and will be held against you**_  
_**So only say my name**_  
_**It will be held against you**_  
_**Anything you say can and will be held against you**_  
_**So only say my name (name)**_

I felt her presence before I saw that glow. She was walking, almost gliding, past my home. I stumbled to get out the door.

"HEY! HEY!"

She stopped and turned, looking at me silently.

I marched towards her, "Didn't I tell you? It's over! Change your clothes! Why torment me?! WHY ARE YOU!?"

Her head tilted, "Is my form not pleasing to you, Paul?"

I blinked, "What did I tell you about saying my name.. About saying anything?"

"You are not my master.."

I blinked, dumbfounded. "Look, you're the one stalking me."

"I simply wish that you not be alone... I want to help.. But until you tell me why I will die.. Until I understand, I cannot."

I lost my balance, and once again found myself at her feet. I looked up at her, noticing for the first time that it was raining- And she was dry.

"I'm poison. Death. Corruption. Beyond the help of you or any other. Just leave me to die alone.. Leave me to my fate.. I'm no good.. You're portraying an angel, so leave me be- I've been forsaken."

_**If heaven's grief brings hell's rain**_  
_**Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday**_  
_**(I know I'm bad news)**_  
_**For just one yesterday**_  
_**(I saved it all for you)**_  
_**I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way**_  
_**Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday**_  
_**(I know I'm bad news)**_  
_**For just one yesterday**_  
_**(I saved it all for you)**_  
_**For just one yesterday**_

I remember rolling to my feet and crawling, sluggishly, to my home. I splayed myself back out on my porch. My tears mixed with that of the rain. I pulled the tiny bottle of Vodka from my pocket, opened my mouth and just poured. It ran down my throat with an ease that came with much practice. I never spilled a drop.

I dropped my hand and heard the bottle shatter. I saw the glow. I laughed, bitterly.

"You don't get it do you?! I'm nothing! Forsaken, forgotten, beyond anyone's help. He killed her, then he killed himself- And with that sight and their loss I died too. Father's curse.. I have the curse.. Father like son.. Son like father.. Tainted by the blood of the foulest sinner.. Why do you show up here, dressed like an angel? Why do you care at all?"

And for the first time in a long time that I could actually remember...

I wept.

_**If I spilled my guts**_  
_**The world would never look at you the same way**_  
_**And now I'm here to give you all my love**_  
_**So I can watch your face as I take it all away, away, away, ay ay ay**_

I saw the sorrow for me in her eyes. I stared at her, the rain mixing with my tears. I reached for her, and finally felt her touch.

She was warmth.. Joy.. Comfort. Could she have truly been a real angel? Is that why I was on my porch, a soggy drunken mess, while she was still pure and beautiful?

"Oh Paul.. No one is so lost. Look, you are touching me and here I am still.. I am not tainted.. I am not dying of poison.. I am not dirty or fallen.. I am me.. My name is Isabella. Let me help you.."

"Bella.. I am beyond help."

She moved and cradled my head in her lap. I felt the warmth from her surge through my body, like a shock from a defibrillator on a dying man.

"I can help you.. Let me help you.. I can take you away.. From all this.."

I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek into her hand. "Help me.."

I had never asked for help before.. Never accepted kindness.. Did I deserve it?

**_If Heaven's grief brings hell's rain_**  
**_Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday_**  
**_(I know I'm bad news)_**  
**_For just one yesterday_**  
**_(I saved it all for you)_**  
**_I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way_**  
**_Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday_**  
**_(I know I'm bad news)_**  
**_For just one yesterday_**  
**_(I saved it all for you)_**  
**_For just one yesterday_**

I stood in the distance.. Pure.. White.. My angel's hand in my own.. My Bella. She had wrinkled her nose when I called her that after the toxins had left me. I saw things so much clearer now..

I watched as my casket was lowered into the ground. Astounded by the amount of people who came to say goodbye.. People forgotten in my drunken stupor.  
Billy, the chief, who had made sure I had clothes and food- And had not been taken from my home or my people.  
Jared, who had been my best friend until I pushed him away.. And apparently even after..  
Jake, Sam, Leah, Seth, Embry, Quil... So many who I thought abandoned me.. But as I listened to them speak about me, about how I must have finally been at peace..

What happened to my yesterdays?

My Bella squeezed my hand gently and I looked down at her. "I can let you go back, you know.."

I shook my head, "I'll see them again.. In one more yesterday."

She smiled and we ascended. Into my tomorrows.


End file.
